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preparing is just a creation of believing
but, maybe it could be
i swing my eyes around
looking for memory
recognizing, grasps a hold of thinking
i sorrowed you before
my eyes paid attention
your that named i thought of as beautiful
my lips never hesitated
your name cheated its way from my voice
yes, i once perched of you
your face papered my walls
that day, never hard to find
i work with yesterday to help me with today
your hand covered the other in spite
never realizing me from within
i never left, come in
stop me, my eyes have remembered
lost your words long ago
though painted many pictures
hold on to more
i can't see you anymore

a writer's word

depression taps me on the shoulder through a daydream
music plays through my subconscious mind
i strive to write with willingness you'll read my thoughts
i struggle with disappointment and turndowns
writing, i want to make my mark
still in that daydream with my eyes wide and candid
i dream sometimes of ideas, that i can't wait to jot down
thinking my next idea will show me to acknowledgement
tracing other writers steps, wondering if they struggled
depression is a circle of writing
where to go for the next line, shadows the other side
a mistake becomes a purposed line
traveling through faces learning new stories
painted eyes lash out each section of bareness
struggles of disappointment, rage through my vain so unvoiced
preparing my notions so blank, awaiting to characterize
traveling in mind bleeding for intention
awakening a word, spelling a verdict
circle my depression, painting a route
recognizing flaws, airs my collapse
roaming through concept delivers and defines
readers only imagine my behavior
reflect, i pretend i'm each word
serving from emotion, dabbling in view
leaving most worlds, traveling around mine
writing, lessens the blows of life carried along
seconds grab me for moments at a time
revealing lessons rehearsed only my mind can tell
plastered inaccuracy suffers dwelling times
saving a moment, each day i reveal
careful once never characterize my intentions
saving stories
i don't always wish for depression
that daydream still overshadows my mission
staring long, repeats many times from mind
one-idea branches along
trading drawings for paintings believes in love
creating written nights, romancing the morning
tails, i write yesterday, ideas followed before then
leaning for time through stretching out days gone by
back and glancing returning a different prospective
forcing words writes in neglect
staring alone provides passionate ideas
awaking in thought, traveling the design
two steps from more, wishing for more
dimmed light focuses each sought out welcome
last sentence was better than the first painted
arrange in decline
those words never so simple
argue alone more than when unpublished
two words, we'll pass
scraping hats for changing ideas
myths of right is somehow wrong
depression sometimes fits together
stories lie awake
cling to the music for mine
this daydream makes sense around me
swearing i'll be written
dreaming i'm ten, knowing the writer then
passion is harder to never lose
indications mask words written in print
my portrait slaves aside a lingo i created
jumping forth and through, my smile broadens
thirteen words only spell a small whole of my reasoning
chancing on a start, trading on a dream
journal recorded drives for backup thoughts
timing on stories, never will be thought out
changing ideas only starts a new path to mend
servicing written pen marks, catching up with mind
motioning a decision, though turning the page for a new collection
scribbling tensions savor my definition
missed you once, never twice again
blank pages sleeve an understanding
patient, though never referred by
starving for attention, drowning for
building sentences, just make sense
traveling corrections only covers a first meant to be
taught mind travels in own direction, words are precise
depression surrenders, though sometimes follows tomorrow
two days often seem like one
saving this daydream, stored by date
ideas on her, insight on many
one hit, blocks out surroundings
only words slander one another
gazing at a thought, begging for its release
stages carry through each day, saving on a beginning
placed dreams recognize from long ago
waiting for a lesson, realizing a beginning
words come over to shine, while rescuing their view
transferring fact to fiction, branding the emotion
one line terrified, following a favorite
missed purposed became only passionate once more
stranded alone each day, saving each sought out creation
tracing the daydream, struggling through distress
wondering if each day was nothing but a story to form
scared of suffering, i hear success is too
pretending sometimes as if i'd been there
part one creates a never ending
two voices character along side
saving scenes as dialog creates
poetry lines familiarize a completion
doesn't anyone see the dream i witnessed
saving a smile for a selected day
trading expressions for stories
one lie usually means more
wanting much, hoping for it to come
five days lasted to long, wishing more time alone
transferring reasoning for someone complete
i collide with standing and looking around
worrying moments stretch for relief
i'm high again staring at reason that only changes
my skeleton strains for grounds
pleading this daydream, i came to recognize
missing more, nearly conquered less
pencils matched a light eyed outlined
saving for a life a child i once discovered
trading never for life i write
depression launders most corrections
one time i pleaded to understand how others pictured me
as a writer i stood still with a listen, never imagined i'd hear
wishing words unheard were easier
missing on a dream though capturing life again
i walk in course of an epiphany

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